“But, what I don’t understand is…” Private Mynutts had to pause his question to duck a Mourning-Wood arrow shot from across the huge Library by a scantily clad Indian bodybuilder from Seigfried and Roy’s Warband. It THUNKED dully into the rotting bookshelf where his head just was.
“Lady Del’Rolexx is an Apostle of the Goddess of Time. Why is she, us all in fact, in this forgotten hellhole putting our lives on the line to get this scrap treasure? It’s like we’re fighting each other like coyotes over decayed mouse parts. She should be holding Midnight Mass at the platinum temple of Serkzes like the rest of the Apostles. We should be with her doing that. Not this!” Private Mynutts along with his fellow Infantryman chugged along the rows of books right up to the 100 foot deep crack in the floor with lava down below. They hunkered down as a echoing roar of a Frost Bear could be heard above the screams of young girls from the south.
“Sue petitioned the Goddess to come here.” Private Daytyme replied as he nonchalantly plucked a tome from the rack, glanced at it’s incomprehensible cover then tossed the 1000 year old book into the lava and watched it burst into flames halfway down.
“She stated it’s not the stuff the gold buys or the power of the items in this place, but their age. Back at the Crypt she has a way to use these ‘Scraps’ as you call them and go into a trance to regress her vision back to the ancient time when these things were first wrought. From those visions she says she can ‘Post-re-engineer’ all this stuff” He looks at Mynutts with wide eyes and a smile one only gets from knowing the secret of a winning team.
“But…” Just then Private Mynutts head exploded in a phantasmagoria of lightning and blood.
His decapitated corpse squatted there for a few moments, as if it didn’t know how to act in this new development of the situation. Then it collapsed. From the area of the Rivendell Warband came a hoot of victory and a peel of giddy girl laughter. Private Daytyme slammed his back to the book rack then put his shield before him in a defensive manner with one hand and started wiping the blood spray from his face with the other.
Private Daytyme looked to the hailing call, He saw an arm lurched over the lip of the lava crack. He scuttled on his belly to the scene as another Elemental Bolt shot across the chasm. He grabbed the intensely hot armoured arm and pulled. It was Sir Pendulum covered in cooling rock smegma.
“I saw you pushed into the lava crack by one of Seigfried’s treasure hunters! You fell 100 feet into frigging lava!” He exclaimed.
“Yeah, that WAS a bitch. Come on, let’s get the fuck outta here.” Sir Pendulum (not one to use gutter talk lightly) said in a hoarse voice. He and the Private leaned on each other as they slowly followed the receding backs of their fellows.